Low IQ's - The Top Ten Stupidest Acts

The working man's one...

Monday morning. The alarm sounds. It’s six am. It’s still dark. Somehow drag the exhausted, incredulous body out of bed and into the shower. Careful... don't wake the wife. Quietly creep back into the bedroom, and oh bless, she's awake, murmuring those precious three little words:Honey .... it's Sunday.

The George Bush one (of a million) …

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. August 5th 2004.

The obvious one….

The text message one…

The risk message to the girlfriend:

Babe, Last night was amazing… xxx

And the fateful reply…

Hi Darling, I don’t think you meant to send that to me, lovely to hear from you though. Lots of Love, Mummy xx

The holiday one…

Excusez moi, errrm… savez vous ou se trouve …bother, what’s the word? errr….le gare?

Certainly Sir, it’s just a short walk from here.

Mum's techno one…

Son: OK, let's try once more, but use lower case letters.

Mum: How do I do that? I only have capital letters on my keyboard?

The 'never quite got that' one….

An anonymous man goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, stands up and says: Hello, my name is….

The 'please let the ground swallow me' one…

So, we’ve all done it. Said the wrong thing, at the wrong time, or to the wrong person.

But I think I perhaps took the ‘wrong thing’ to a whole other level the day I was reunited with my school friend, after five years of almost complete silence. I was nervous and excited to see her, but keen to have a great day catching up. Needless to say, the day could have done better:

Me: Wow! What a surprise! Congratulations!

Friend: On what?

Me: The baby!

Friend: What baby?

Me:……*Dies.*

The student one….

You make it to lectures. You settle into the middle of a busy row, mentally preparing yourself for an hour of Spanish grammar. The lights dim. And a power point presentation titled ‘Micro biology’ springs to life. Marvellous.

The 'Just another day at the office' one….